if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
