You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
