So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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