I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
