Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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