two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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