I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
