Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
