I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
