Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I am naked and annoyed.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
