love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
