This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Randomize
