grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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