I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
