I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
