Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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