Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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