can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
