She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
