My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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