Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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