Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
