it's too hot outside to masturbate.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
