Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
