i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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