He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Panties = found
Randomize
