everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Randomize
