Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We're not piercing ourselves today.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
