I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
