Cold hands, warm shart.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
