Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
