I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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