i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
