fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
