I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
