Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
