So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
