is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
