Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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