Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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