All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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