You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
