You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
