There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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