My liver just broke up with me...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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