My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
