i need an iv and a liver transplant
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
