hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
