So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
