so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Green mimosas i think yes
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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